what does it mean to be “in recovery?” why it's confusing for parents and what we should focus on to help our kids make positive change, with Brenda Zane
Host: Brenda Zane, brenda@brendazane.com
Instagram: @the.stream.community
The Stream Community: a positive, health-focused online space for moms of kids experimenting with or addicted to drugs or alcohol
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Episode resources:
Harm Reduction Episode with Dee Dee Stout
Brenda Zane’s Family Story - Hopestream Episode 1
Sober High Schools - Episode 48 with Seth Welch
Stages of Change - Hopestream Episode 66
Recovery Capital scale and worksheet (download)
Episode Research Links:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6602820/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19016174/
https://www.statnews.com/2021/05/03/people-recover-from-addiction-they-also-go-on-to-do-good-things/
https://www.recoveryanswers.org/media/national-recovery-study-30-seconds/
https://www.recoveryanswers.org/research-post/social-cure-family-friends-matter-recovery-capital/
Transcript:
Brenda Zane 00:44
Hello, friends, I'm glad to be here with you today. I may sound a little off in this episode, because I actually have COVID. Unfortunately, I do have a breakthrough case I was fully vaccinated, I guess I am fully vaccinated. But I still got it. And it's pretty mild, but I am a little under the weather a little slow. So thank you for bearing with me through this.
But I did want to continue on with the episode today because September is Recovery Month. And I think that recovery is a topic that can be really confusing for people. And therefore I wanted to give it its very own episode, I'm going to share some data and statistics in this show. And you can find all of the sources and links to those different studies in the show notes. Those are at BrendaZane.com/podcast, when you land there, you'll see all the episodes, this is number 80. So you can just scroll down to this episode, if you want to see that information.
I thought we would start out with a definition of recovery to ground us all kind of in the same place before diving in. From the incredible people at recovery Research Institute. Their definition is recovery from a substance use disorder is defined as a process of improved physical, psychological and social well-being and health after having suffered from a substance-related condition. This is a definition that can confuse people, because it doesn't say recovery is the total abstinence from using substances, which is how some people and organizations define it. The reality is there isn't one correct or universal definition of recovery. And so when we start to try to label it, and spell out the conditions of how somebody is supposed to live, or is not supposed to live, while they consider themselves to be in recovery, it can just turn into a big argument.
So I will stay away from labels here. And we'll talk about different flavors of recovery. Because to me, at least from my experience in working with so many of you, that just seems a lot more realistic. First, I think it's important to share that while a lot of the news that we hear about addiction is weak and depressing. There is another side to the coin, and it is incredible. And it's inspirational. It just doesn't get as much airtime as the sad and depressing side. This is why I tell my family story to basically anyone who will listen. Because despite what you're seeing today in your son or daughter, or grandson or granddaughter, niece or nephew, whoever it is in your life, it can change, they can get better, they do get better. And they can lead a healthy life after whatever it is that they're going through. I know you might be doubting that. And trust me, I would have doubted it too if I had been listening to a podcast in like 2014 15,16, 17. So you are just gonna have to trust me on this one.
There are some pretty amazing facts that you might not be aware of related to recovery. So let's just start with some of those
22.3 million Americans have overcome an alcohol or other drug problem. So that's 9% of US adults, at least at the time that the survey was done. It's right in that neighborhood. That means that almost one in 10 us adults has overcome a substance use problem. This means that addiction recovery isn't just possible, but it's common. If you think about being at work or in your community and you look around and you look at one in 10 that is a pretty astounding number.
The average number of attempts at recovery before success is five but the media number is just two. So clearly there are some people with very severe substance use disorders that are skewing that number higher. But it's really good to know that more than one attempt is actually very normal.
05:16
Seven out of 100 adolescents attended diction treatment each year, and relapse rates for adolescents are high, which you probably already know if you're listening. But with estimates from different studies that have been done, it's estimated that between 55 and 90% of adolescents drink or use other drugs within the first year after they complete treatment. So if you are in that camp right now, you are not alone.
Remission for substance use disorder occurs at five years, which is the point when the risk for relapse is considered to be no greater than that of anyone else in the general population. This is why we need long term programs. And we need people to help and support people who are trying to live in recovery. This isn't a 30 or 60, or 90 day thing. So that's just a really good thing to remember five years.
And one study, 60% of those who reported being in recovery, didn't even receive any treatment, they did not receive substance use treatment at all.
And compared to other medical and psychiatric illnesses, substance use disorder is a disorder with a good prognosis, because it's estimated that between 42 and 66% of people with substance use disorder achieve full remission. But like we said before, it can take a long time to get there and multiple attempts.
And then finally, I think this is a very interesting statistic, that although those in recovery, were less likely to report a past year use of a wide range of substances. 32% reported past month binge drinking and 31% reported past year marijuana use. So this obviously goes against the historical and sort of cultural grassroots meaning of recovery, which typically requires abstinence from all substances.
So obviously, the concept of recovery is one that is personal, it's unique to every person who is trying to change their relationship with alcohol or drugs, or really from any addiction, which is why it can be really confusing for parents in particular, if you have a different idea of recovery than your son or daughter does.
And the important thing that most parents want to see his effort and progress. And if those things are happening, it's a win. Whether you label that recovery probably matters less. I'm going to share a few scenarios. And while these might not be what you would consider being traditional recovery, the reality of what's going on with a lot of your families. And it's important to talk about.
And I'll start out by saying, ideally, our kids would abstain from all substances, especially if they're adolescents with underdeveloped brains. So that's the ideal, that would be the ultimate goal. But it's not always reality. And sometimes, they may achieve abstinence in phases. So we just have to be open to helping them at each step along the way.
Here's a scenario that is common with young adults who struggled with addiction. Let's say your 22 year old son has been using math, Cocaine, Alcohol and marijuana regularly for the past four years. He's been in jail during that time, he's gotten a DUI, he lost three jobs. And he's basically couchsurfing for places to stay because he lost his apartment. So it's not a good scenario. And this are some iteration of this is so common, I hear it all the time.
Then your son was able to get into a 60-day residential treatment program, he finally agreed to go. He did well on the program. Now he is out. And he's living with his girlfriend, who he's repaired relationships with. And even though he says that he's in recovery, he still uses marijuana gummies a couple of times a week. And he drinks a couple of beers after work at night.
He also has a job which he is showing up sober for. He's working on clearing up his court cases, and he's generally pleasant to be around. You can tell that he's using the skills that he learned in treatment, and he seems relatively happy he's engaged in his life. So is he in recovery? The reality is it probably doesn't don't really matter what you call it, he's better and he's functioning in a healthier way. He is still using some substances, but at least for now, he's using them in a way that he doesn't have all of those deleterious effects that they used to have in his life.
Again, research shows that abstinence gives people the best chance at long-term recovery. But if somebody is willing to work on or change over time, it could be that the recovery will come in stages or steps. And I'm not here to say that any parent would necessarily wish for that scenario that I gave. But would they take the new and improved version of this guy over the old, I'm guessing Yes.
And here's another scenario that I hear often, someone has a daughter who struggles with alcohol, and when she drinks she gets verbally and physically abusive to herself and other people. She's had alcohol poisoning several times and ended up in the emergency room more than once. Recently, she started on Antabuse, which is medication to help people stop drinking, and she's doing well and taking it regularly. But she still struggles with a lot of anxiety. And her way of dealing with that is to use marijuana several times a week to cope. Her mood when she uses marijuana is relaxed and calm. She has never gotten abusive or violent when using it. And the parents of this young lady have gotten to the point where they're relieved when they smell marijuana rather than alcohol. Do they wish that she didn't smoke at all? Of course, would they take this over having her drink alcohol and get violent and aggressive and end up in the hospital? Of course, is she in recovery? It's her decision if she uses that as a way to describe her current situation.
So see what I mean about recovery being really complicated? If we don't shift from black and white thinking that being in recovery means total abstinence, we could actually be discouraging people from trying at all to change their habits.
There's a whole conversation here about harm reduction that comes into play. And I'd really encourage you to go back and listen to Episode 65 with Dee Dee Stout is a really informative conversation about what harm reduction is, and how it helps people move in the right direction when quitting altogether, either isn't attractive, or it's just not an option that people can see themselves in. So be sure and go back to Episode 65. I think it'll help provide more context around this idea for you.
There are a couple of things that I want to touch on next that are important in the overall recovery conversation. The first is the idea or the myth that says in order to recover from an addiction, you must go to a treatment program. Now I know that is the path that most parents are introduced to when you start your googling at three o'clock in the morning, but it's actually not the only way. And for teens or young adults who are in the experimentation stage. Maybe they are physically dependent, but they're not in full-blown addiction. Some of these options that I'm gonna talk about may feel more approachable for them. And for your family.
Of course, whether something nonclinical is going to be the right choice depends on a lot of factors. So you would obviously have to do your research, talk to your doctors, and have a really good idea of what your son or daughter is using and to what extent, but in the right situations, some of these other options could really be worth checking out. And this is especially true if your child is refusing traditional treatment like wilderness therapy or residential programs or even a local outpatient program. Or if financially those things just aren't an option.
So the nonclinical paths to recovery are usually community-based and offer peer support. So these are going to be things like recovery, residences, recovery, community centers, education-based support, like sober high schools, there are 42 sober high schools in the United States. And I'll put a link in the show notes to resources for that as well. There are collegiate recovery programs, faith-based programs.
And one little-known, nonclinical resource that I would highly recommend are APG's or alternative peer groups, which are basically recovery groups for teens that get them involved in a community of other young people who are working on staying sober. And that helps give them that social acceptance kind of that social currency that we know in part is one of the motivations for them to start using drugs and alcohol. First place. So they're able to get some of that social acceptance that they really need but in a healthier way with healthier people around them.
And then there are also holistic-based recovery services that use integrative or holistic medicine as forms of healing. So things like acupuncture, aromatherapy, meditation and guided imagery, hypnosis, reflexology yoga, on and on. There's also art, music, drama, and dance therapy. There's equine therapy, canine therapy. So if you're struggling to figure out what options are out there, these might be some of the ones that you want to look at, to help steer somebody into new habits into new passions that they could explore. Again, this really varies depending on how severe the substance use is. But there could be really good options for somebody to find their own version of recovery in a way that feels right to them, and is something that's interesting to them.
And then I also wanted to just talk about recovery, capital, and recovery capital or recovery assets are a big part of the process of making change and sticking with it. And recovery capital is the total resources that a person has available to them to find and maintain their recovery. There's four kinds of main categories of recovery capital, which are personal, family, or social, community and cultural. In all of these, surround the person or don't surround the person if there's a deficit of this capital for the person who's trying to overcome the addiction.
So the personal recovery capital is someone's physical human capital. So the physical capital is the available resources to just fulfill a person's basic needs, their health, their health care, financial, clothing, food, housing, transportation, and human capital relates to person's abilities, their skills and knowledge, their problem solving, executive functioning, their education and credentials, self-esteem, their ability to navigate challenging situations, their interpersonal skills, and just kind of an overall sense of meaning and purpose in life.
So that is personal recovery, capital, family and social recovery capital or intimate relationships with friends and family, relationships with other people in recovery, supportive partners, parents, and it also includes the availability of recovery-related social events, so important. Community recovery capital, includes kind of a broad range. So it's things like activism and advocacy that can help reduce stigma, having a wide range of addiction treatment resources that are available, peer-led support, like AA or NA, or like I mentioned, APG’s for younger people. It's things like educational support in high schools and colleges, having recovery role models and sober role models around and then early intervention programs like EAP is your employee assistance program, things like drug courts that try to get in and steer people in a different direction early on.
And then cultural capital is a set of resources that resonate with people at a cultural and faith-based level. So resources for people of color or people of a specific faith community, are examples of cultural capital. Some of the most important recovery capital or assets are just basic things like having a general practice doctor, supportive family members, having good nutrition and access to healthy food, having a bank account being employed, having access to sober peers or mentors, having stable housing, and access to education so that you can either further your education or your career.
And then recovery barriers are things like having ongoing or unresolved mental health problems, having a lack of access to health care or treatment options, a lack of stable housing, losing a driver's license, having a criminal history, and not having consistent access to school or education.
And these are important to think about because the resources or capital A that a person needs, depends heavily on the severity of their substance use disorder and the resources that they already have available. So save person has severe substance use disorder, but little recovery capital, they're going to be more likely to benefit from professional treatment and post-treatment support services, so more scaffolding around them.
But a person with moderate or severe substance use disorder who has high recovery capital. So lots of things on that checklist are in place, they may need fewer formal or clinical resources to make change, and to consider themselves to be in recovery. There's been a lot of research done on the impact of recovery capital, and barriers and one thing that it shown is having close friends who are not substance users, and having fun activities available is one of the most important elements of recovery capital for young people. And unfortunately, that is also one of the hardest things for young people to have once they've detached from a group of positive friends.
One great resource though, for teens or young adults in that situation, who don't have very much positive peer capital, is to connect them with a sober mentor, or coach, somebody who doesn't have that therapist label, even though therapy is incredibly important if you can get them to agree to that. But a mentor or a coach is a person who's been in your son or daughter's shoes, and probably not too long ago, maybe within a couple of years. So they can really relate to them. But has moved out of substance use, and can be an example of somebody living a fun, you know, full sober life, they may be one of the only nonsubstance using people in your son or daughter's life. And it can be really nonthreatening, and nonclinical. And sometimes that's what younger people need is just somebody to connect with, not somebody to do a lot of heavy therapy with, especially if they've already been to treatment program before or have spent a lot of time in therapy, this is another good option for them.
And I think it's helpful even to write out a list of your son or daughter's recovery capital and barriers, it's a good way to start to make some plans if you're feeling stuck in how you can help them move toward making change. And there's a recovery capital scale and a plan sort of worksheet that I've put in the show notes that you might want to download. It can be really useful if your son or daughter is in that contemplate of stage, remember the stages of change, there's another episode, if you want to listen to that. But if they're in the contemplation stage, or higher, and they're starting to think about making some changes in their life, this can be a really, really useful tool to help them do that.
Ultimately, I think what's important is to focus less on the nuances of the word recovery. And look at what somebody's actions and intentions are. And if by claiming they're in recovery from heroin and meth use, but they're still using marijuana, if that helps somebody take the next step in their journey to get healthy, is that the worst thing? If it allows them the self-efficacy and the motivation to go on another day in a positive direction, and to experience another day of life in a healthier way? who really cares what you call it? Right?
23:29
I know it's a tricky subject. I know it can be very discouraging if you want to see the person that you love, be completely abstinent from drugs and alcohol. And maybe recognizing the effort and the progress that they're making, rather than striving for a very specific defined outcome could be a way that you could be a contributor to their recovery capital.
If you haven't listened to my family's story and heard my son's recovery story, you can go all the way back to episode number one, it might just be the encouragement and proof that you need to know that this is possible. People do change no matter how bleak things might be looking today.
Again, I'm going to put a ton of resources in the show notes so that you can grab them there. There'll be at BrendaZane.com/podcast, scroll to episode number 80. And thank you so much for listening. Thank you for showing up and doing the work that this experience requires of you. It's hard work. It requires a lot of flexible thinking and acceptance of new ideas and new perspectives. So I thank you again and I look forward to meeting you right back here next week.
Thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to go to the show notes, you can always find those at Brenda Zane comm forward slash podcast. Each episode is listed there with full transcript, all of the resources that we mentioned, as well as a place to leave comments if you would like to do that. You might also want to download a free ebook I wrote called hindsight. Three things I wish I knew when my son was addicted to drugs. It's full of the information I wish I would have known when my son was struggling with his addiction. You can grab that at www.BrendaZane.com/hindsight. Thanks again for listening and I will meet you right back here next week.