clinging to hope: an epic saga of addiction, medical innovation, loss, recovery, hope and unconditional love, with Pattie Vargas and Rebekah Mutch
Host: Brenda Zane, brenda@brendazane.com
Instagram: @the.stream.community
Guests: Pattie Vargas, Rebekah Mutch
The Stream Community: a positive, health-focused online space for moms of kids experimenting with or addicted to drugs or alcohol
Free ebook: “HINDSIGHT: 3 Things I Wish I Knew When My Son Was Misusing Drugs, by Brenda Zane. Download here
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podcast support from:
This episode is supported by The Stream. You might be wondering who else is listening to this podcast and dealing with the same kinds of issues you are. You may also want to go beyond the podcast and dive deeper into the subjects with other moms who get it.
The Stream is the place where all of that happens. It’s a modern, online space where moms who have kids struggling with substance use and addiction issues focus on their own health, wellness, and sanity. There’s no judgment, and no drama (it's not on Facebook), and our community is based on positive thinking and learning CRAFT skills. We have weekly events, a book club, yoga classes, workshops, expert guest speakers, and supportive conversations.
Being a member of The Stream gives you an even deeper connection beyond the podcast where you get to interact with amazing moms and me every day. So if you'd like to hang out with us after the episodes, you can learn more and join us at www.thestreamcommunity.com. The first two weeks are always free to see if we’re your kind of people, so there’s no risk to check us out. We’re waiting for you there.
episode resources
NIH National Library of Medicine Clinical trial listing
NET Research Study brochure (download here)
The Final Fix documentary info
about the episode:
Sometimes there's a story so unbelievable it's hard to know where to start when telling it. This is one of those. My guests are a mother (Pattie Vargas) and daughter (Rebekah Mutch) and they trusted me with sharing their family's journey to hell plus the miraculous twist that no one saw coming.
Intertwined with their family's dark tour through decades of addiction is the little-known story of a 50-year-old medical breakthrough that's saved rockstars like Eric Clapton and Keith Richards from their drug addictions. Adding to the storyline, you'll hear how my own son's struggle with substances and the forced isolation of early COVID led to the unlikely convergence of us all.
It's a binge-worthy episode that merits its own NETFLIX series. You'll come away awestruck by the determination of a Scottish surgeon, the power of a mother's fierce love, the human ability to triumph over addiction, and the realization that parents should never stop clinging to hope.
episode chapters
SPEAKERS
Brenda Zane, Pattie Vargas, Bekah Mutch
0:01 intro and timeline for events covered in the episode
6:17 "everything I know about drugs I learned from the church and my kids"
11:24 the family starts unraveling
13:00 Joel starts going downhill
17:26 Single-mom life
18:50 "He was hilarious"
22:41 Joel's spiral and first intervention
24:04 "they'd never seen someone bring so much meth into rehab"
27:20 Bekah's story, "she was functional to a certain extent"
30:05 "Joel's using career vs. mine, I was really good at getting people to see what they wanted to see"
31:29 How was Pattie coping with two kids misusing substances?
33:54 Joel continues to spiral
34:45 Bekah starts losing things and makes a bad decision
37:40 Deja vu for Pattie
39:21 The "big" arrest, jail time and the best days for Joel
42:44 Bekah, "I've always been able to make people think I'm ok even when I'm falling apart"
44:48 How Bekah went from "just" being an alcoholic to using hard drugs. "Heroin wasn't even in my realm of possibilities"
48:00 Siblings that use together, "everything was chaos"
51:07 Joel has a heart attack in jail
57:40 "He slept in a park that night and I knew something was wrong"
1:04:33 The Disney ending that didn't happen, the next 4 years..."I was grieving someone who wasn't even dead"
1:11:46 Bekah learns about NET treatment, after an overdose says, "I need to go now"
1:22:29 Plane rides, withdrawal, "this is something you don't know, mom"
1:24:52 Bekah starts NET treatment, "but I can take Suboxone if it doesn't work, right?"
1:35:55 the story takes another turn
1:42:26 The role of a mom who doesn't give up, and it's not your fault
1:48:35 what Bekah and Pattie want people to know and learn from their story
Brenda
Thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to go to the show notes, you can always find those at At Brendazane.com/podcast, each episode is listed there with a full transcript, all of the resources that we mentioned, as well as a place to leave comments if you'd like to do that. You might also want to download a free ebook I wrote called Hindsight: Three things I wish I knew when my son was addicted to drugs. It's full of the information I wish I would have known when my son was struggling with his addiction. You can grab that at Brendazane.com/hindsight. Thanks again for listening and I will meet you right back here next week.